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Oct. 20th, 2007 @ 07:45 pm Message To Myself
Current Mood: blah
Message To Myself

I’m sending out a message to myself
So that when I hear it on the radio
I will know that I am fine,
I will know that I am loved.

I warned myself of the blackness in my chest
The razors in my heart would never rest
It’s funny how you find just what you seek
Love is what you get when love is what you speak

I’m sending out a message to myself
So that when I hear it on the radio
I will know that I am fine,
I will know that I am loved.

I made every choice along the way
Each day I spent in hell I chose to stay
It’s funny what you fear can make you weak
Truth is what you get when truth is what you speak

I’m sending out a message to myself
So that when I hear it on the radio
I will know that I am fine,
I will know that I am loved.

So if you are listening I am just passing through
You can take some for yourself ‘cause it works that way too

Sha la la la la la la la la la
Sha la la la la la la la la la
I will know that I am fine,
I will know that I am loved.

I’m sending out a message to myself
So that when I hear it on the radio
I will know that I am fine,
I will know that I am loved.

I’m sending out a message to myself
So that when I hear it on the radio
I will know that I am fine,
I will know that I am loved.
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Oct. 17th, 2007 @ 09:09 pm Schadenfreude
Current Mood: laughing at the bitches
GARY COLEMAN:
Right now you are down and out and feeling really crappy

NICKY:
I'll say.

GARY COLEMAN:
And when I see how sad you are
It sort of makes me...
Happy!

NICKY:
Happy?!

GARY COLEMAN:
Sorry, Nicky, human nature-
Nothing I can do!
It's...
Schadenfreude!
Making me feel glad that I'm not you.

NICKY:
Well that's not very nice, Gary!

GARY COLEMAN:
I didn't say it was nice! But everybody does it!

D'ja ever clap when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses?

NICKY:
Yeah...

GARY COLEMAN:
And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters falling on their asses?

NICKY:
Sure!

GARY COLEMAN:
And don'tcha feel all warm and cozy,
Watching people out in the rain!

NICKY:
You bet!

GARY COLEMAN:
That's...

GARY AND NICKY:
Schadenfreude!

GARY COLEMAN:
People taking pleasure in your pain!

NICKY:
Oh, Schadenfreude, huh?
What's that, some kinda Nazi word?

GARY COLEMAN:
Yup! It's German for "happiness at the misfortune of others!"

NICKY:
"Happiness at the misfortune of others." That is German!

Watching a vegetarian being told she just ate chicken

GARY COLEMAN:
Or watching a frat boy realize just what he put his dick in!

NICKY:
Being on the elevator when somebody shouts "Hold the door!"

GARY AND NICKY:
"No!!!"
Schadenfreude!

GARY COLEMAN:
"Fuck you lady, that's what stairs are for!"

NICKY:
Ooh, how about...
Straight-A students getting Bs?

GARY COLEMAN:
Exes getting STDs!

NICKY:
Waking doormen from their naps!

GARY COLEMAN:
Watching tourists reading maps!

NICKY:
Football players getting tackled!

GARY COLEMAN:
CEOs getting shackled!

NICKY:
Watching actors never reach

GARY AND NICKY:
The ending of their oscar speech!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!

GARY COLEMAN:
The world needs people like you and me who've been knocked around by fate.
'Cause when people see us, they don't want to be us, and that makes them feel great.

NICKY:
Sure!
We provide a vital service to society!

GARY AND NICKY:
You and me!
Schadenfreude!
Making the world a better place...
Making the world a better place...
Making the world a better place...
To be!

GARY COLEMAN:
S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!
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Sep. 26th, 2007 @ 09:16 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: pissed off
I wish many horrid things on my advertising teacher and the indian lady in the car.

many many things.

Oooh and they're bad.

*growls*
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Sep. 11th, 2007 @ 08:25 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: amused
Him: well bye, I'm gonna go eat food.

Me: Oh ok, don't mind me dying of hunger 'cause I haven't eaten.(lie)

Him:Oh... Well why don't you eat when you get home.

Me: Oh thanks for reminding me that my parents don't love me and won't have any food made for me.('nother lie)

Him: Oh...... Well why don't you stop by Burger King?

Me: Oh, thanks for reminding me that I haven't got my tips yet and don't have any money. (Actually true)

Him: I'm gonna go now.

Me: Ok, try not to think of me dying of hunger, broke and loveless, while you're having fun eating.

Him: Bye.

Yay guilt trips!
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Sep. 5th, 2007 @ 08:11 am (no subject)
Current Mood: contemplative
It's funny. I have this urge to change my life. To make it better. You know work on some of my things. Work out, go out more, study more, not be so lazy...

But the only thing that I really need to do...

Is the one thing that I don't want to do.

Which is getting along with my parents.

Or more specifically, my mother.

It's really sad that trust my friends more than I trust my parents. In the two weeks I was in Puerto Rico I told my aunt more about myself than in the past year I've told my parents. I can't trust my parents to help me out because I'm afraid that they'll hold it against me. I mean, I love my parents... I just don't necessarily like them.

Part of me wants to... not have a better relationship with them. But it wants me to want the better relationship.(Does that make sense) The other part of me is like, screw it, I don't care. That scares me. Not so much for my sake... but... let's say one day I get married and adopt kids. I want them to have more than his grand parents. I have parents too. I want them to be included in my family.

It's just... this is my train of thought.

Me: Hmm... I should try and get along better with my parents. Feh, I don't want to.

THAT scares me. This sort of emotional... not so much independence, but self-imposed alienation I have with them. I want to want things to get better...

~Johni
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Sep. 2nd, 2007 @ 07:32 pm (no subject)
I just felt sad for some reason... Like five seconds ago.

Damn it. Here comes the funk... (-_-)
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Aug. 30th, 2007 @ 03:39 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: sad
I miss having a home

I miss having a family
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Aug. 13th, 2007 @ 10:46 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: amused
Him: Why are you so mean to me?

Me: Because I'm insecure and can't express my real feelings.

*pause*

Him: Liar.

I shit you not. I almost laughed in his face. I guess technically I am a liar. I told him the truth 'cause I knew he wouldn't believe it. So *shrug*

I think my manager might be a little homicidal, but that's another story all together.
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May. 23rd, 2007 @ 06:57 pm (no subject)
Life is confusing. So fuck you life.

Anyways...

I was gonna say something important but I forgot it. Oh! I remember I still have a good GPA. I managed a B- in drawing, I'm not sure how, but I'm not complaining.

Well I'm bored. I'm off to do something that will make me less bored. XP
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May. 7th, 2007 @ 11:16 pm (no subject)
1) I got a new car

2) I'm thinking of looking at schools in Spain. So this might be my last year in MA and then I'll go to spain.

Maybe.
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Mar. 13th, 2007 @ 09:36 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: exhasperated
So there's this new supervisor dude where I work. I think we were flirting with each other. I'm not sure.

Well, I know that I was flirting with him, but I'm a flirt (or cocktease as some people prefer to call it) so it doesn't really mean anything.

Does it?

Oh boy, this has the potential to turn out not good.

Very, very not good.
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Winging Life
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Feb. 26th, 2007 @ 10:53 pm (no subject)
Jazzy you better be okay.
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House of leaves
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Feb. 11th, 2007 @ 09:21 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: hopeful
I think I've finally discovered what I want to do. I was talking to Kat today and then it kinda dawned on me. I wanna have a talk show.

Oh, but not just any talk show. I am going to make the first talk show that's both in spanish and english. First I'll film the episode with the guests in one language, and then I'll do it in english.

at the same time it's almost like a social experiment on what these two cultures see and feel. Even though the episodes will be on the same topics, they won't be the same since they will have different guests and audiences and such.

I think it's a big dream. Hell it's a ginormous dream. And it's a strech too, one hell of a strech.

But that's never stopped me before.
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How you rise
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Feb. 7th, 2007 @ 09:12 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: accomplished
Today was my first day at starbucks. I'm really pumped about working there. I already got a compliment card thingy. Whoo!
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How you rise
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Feb. 1st, 2007 @ 05:57 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: stressed
So I told my parent's I'm gay. Whoooo! Intense. Well they seemed to take it relatively well. I need less stress in my life! XD

Well so far so good.
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C'est la vie
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Jan. 30th, 2007 @ 03:01 pm (no subject)
So I might be going to anime Boston with some friends cos-playing Suichi from gravitation.

Now I just need to buy (well the tickets of course) a pink wig, tan shorts, a low cut black shirt, and a yellow trench coat thing. Or at least that's what I think he wears. I shall look it up.

Wooo!
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Next time
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Jan. 29th, 2007 @ 08:02 pm (no subject)
Quick update: I start at Starbucks next tuesday.

now for the actual purpose of this post

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
My new anthem
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Asi Soy Yo
RBD

Si tu piensas que te voy a perseguir
ni lo sueñes no soy asi
yo te busco donde sea y lo ago cuando quiera
yo me muevo a mi manera
asi soy yo

Quiero que lo sepas de una vez por mi
no espero nada de ti
si quiero yo te encuentro
si deseo yo te beso
si yo quiero yo te enredo porqueee

Asi soy yo, asi soy yo, asi soy yo
atrapo al que quiera y lo beso donde sea
asi soy yo, asi soy yo
no me importa lo que enfrente no me importa lo que piense
asi soy yo, asi soy yo
no digo cosas en vano siempre voy directo al grano
asi soy yo, asi soy yo
no pretendo que me entienda que dificil es ser yo

Y no digas que yo no te lo adverti
piensa bien si te conviene asi
dando libre sin pasiones no me pongo condiciones
yo no doy explicaciones
asi soy yo

Y si hay otra que te haga mas feliz
ni lo pienses nada de sufrir
no me vengas con perdones
siempre tengo mil amores
pruebo mis otros sabores porqueee

Asi soy yo, asi soy yo, asi soy yo
atrapo al que quiera y lo beso donde sea
asi soy yo, asi soy yo
no me importa lo enfrente no me importa lo que piense
asi soy yo, asi soy yo
no digo cosas en vano siempre voy directo al grano
asi soy yo, asi soy yo
no pretendo que me entienda que dificil es ser yo

Asi soy yo, asi soy yo, asi soy yo
siempre tengo horas buenas no me gusta andar con pena
asi soy yo, asi soy yo
vives como sin abrazos sin entiendo de fracaso
asi soy yo, asi soy yo
no me gusta tener dueño el que se crea sera un sueño
asi soy yo, asi soy yo
no pretendo que me...

No me vengas con perdones
siempre tengo mil amores
pruebo mis otros sabores porqueee

Asi soy yo, asi soy yo, asi soy yo
atrapo al que quiera y lo beso donde sea
asi soy yo, asi soy yo
no pretendo que me entiendan el que quiera que me quiera
asi soy yo, asi soy yo
siempre tengo horas buenas no me gusta andar con pena
asi soy yo, asi soy yo
vives como sin abrazos sin entiendo de fracaso
asi soy yo, asi soy yo
no me gusta tener dueño el que se crea sera un sueño
asi soy yo, asi soy yo
ey si te enteras que estoy buena eso es sierto por si acaso
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No Pattern
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Jan. 4th, 2007 @ 06:44 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: upset
So I got fired today.

No, I'm sorry. My employer and I decided to walk away from our deal.

Pfft. Well it was either that or get fired.

Mostly I'm not upset about being fired (mind you, I am upset about that), I'm upset becase I walk into work and he calls me over, and (I'm paraphrasing) says punch out you're done. Have good luck at those other jobs you're applying to.

Feh. I liked the job too. It was nice. Feh. It just put me in a bad place. Emotionally that is. So, I have 2 paychecks left. I just need to find a job.

Feh, I'll find a way.
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Dec. 27th, 2006 @ 10:02 pm Emoness **IN SPANISH**
Current Mood: perplexed
Un Poco de tu Amor
RBD

Se muy bien que soy
Un amigo mas entre el monton
Que solo soy un fan de corazon
Que no te para de soñar
Cada dia mas

Pero se tambien
Que entre la multitud alguna vez
Pudieras ver la luz sobre mi piel
Para reconocer el amor mas fiel

Yo necesito de ti como el aire
Nadie te puede querer tanto asi

Un poco de tu amor
Para poder vivir
Un poco de tu amor
Me puede ser feliz
Solo un poco de tu amor
Es lo que pido
Un poco de tu amor
Para poder vivir
Un poco de tu amor
Me puede ser feliz
Solo un poco de tu amor
Es lo que pido

Dame una señal
Un minuto mas para conversar
Dame tan solo una oportunidad
Para poderte enamorar
Cada dia mas

Pero se tambien que entra la multitud
Alguna vez pudieras ver la luz sobre mi piel
Para reconocer el amor mas fiel

Yo necesito de ti como el aire
Nadie te puede querer tanto asi

Un poco de tu amor
Para poder vivir
Un poco de tu amor
Me puede ser feliz
Solo un poco de tu amor
Es lo que pido
Un poco de tu amor
Para poder vivir
Un poco de tu amor
Me puede ser feliz
Solo un poco de tu amor
Es lo que pido

Un poco de tu amor
Para poder vivir
Un poco de tu amor
Me puede ser feliz
Solo un poco de tu amor
Es lo que pido
Un poco de tu amor
Para poder vivir
Un poco de tu amor
Me puede ser feliz
Solo un poco de tu amor
Es lo que pido


~*~ La Ironia ~*~


Con ojos resplandecientes,
Con ese brillo especial,
Y la ironia es que aunque es una illusion.

No dejo de soñar que algun dia sera.

Trate de desafiar a mi intuicion,
Por tontamente seguir a mi corazon.
A ese sentido de correccion.
Esperando esa mirada,
Cuando nuestros ojos connectaran.
Y en es momento descubririas la verdad.
Rero el qua la desbrio fui yo.

Y la ironia es que todavia me facinas.
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House of leaves
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Dec. 21st, 2006 @ 09:20 pm Free Hugs
Here's a wonderful sentiment! (^_^)

http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=7b51591476f60bb36c163da90e38f541.1020465&cache=1

http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=d6a6e5a577af0b83c1380d45ce7be57b.1213531&cache=1
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